When my husband and his divorced in November of 1990, she was awarded sole physical custody and they shared Joint Legal.
Remember, according to the EX, visitation was “ as she sees fit.” and that his “opinion to make her look like she has denied any visitation is very wrong.’I came into the picture in 1994, but according to the Ex’s records she says:
1990: Easter Sunday for a few hours with Keith, one week at Christmas with this son only.1991: Christmas one well with Keith
1992: Spring Break one week, Two weeks at Summer, Thanksgiving 4 days and Christmas 1 week.
1993: February 3 days before she moved to WA, Spring break she said Keith could not afford cost for Transportation from WA to CA., Summer 4 weeks, Christmas her turn and her vacation.
1994: Spring Break she said she had the kids after they agreed to it, Summer she said Keith changed his mind about having the kids for summer, Christmas 2 weeks with Keith.
1995: Spring- Keith could not afford to pay for transportation from WA to CA, Summer 3 weeks with Keith, Christmas her year
1996: Spring- 1 week with Keith, Summer Keith could not afford to take the kids, he moved, Christmas Keith canceled at Thanksgiving due to not being able to afford the cost of transportation.
1997: Spring 1 week with Keith, Summer 4 weeks with Keith, Christmas 2 weeks with Keith.
1998: Spring 1 week with Keith, Summer 5 weeks with Keith, Christmas her year.
1999: Spring Break 1 week with Keith, Summer 5 weeks with Keith, Christmas 2 weeks.
2000: Spring 1 week with Keith, Summer, 5 week with Keith, Christmas her year.
2001: 1 week with Keith.Now, remember, she said she ALWAYS ENCOURAGED visits and paid for them most of the time. That says to me that she fostered a relationship between Keith and their kids, and that if he had financial issues at the time, she would have worked a payment arrangement of some sort with him. CLEARLY that did not happen.
Here is the OTHER SIDE of the coin, KEITH’s TRUTH, the facts.
1993: February 4 days, she was moving to WA, Spring- DENIED because SHE just moved and couldn’t afford to send them plus they were still getting used to being in a new area, Christmas- DENIED because she was spending it with her family in San Diego.
1994: Spring-mutually agreed she keeps the kids, Summer-DENIED- Keith moved and she said she was keeping the kids because she didn’t know the people who he was living with, stating he was “unstable in living arrangements.” THIS was after they had agreed that he would get the kids and he sent $400 cash to pay for the tickets for both kids. She told Keith that she would use the money towards Christmas visitation. Christmas-4 days out of the two weeks. She paid $248 total for the tickets out of the $400 he had sent for Spring. She kept the rest of the money. She CANCELED his 2 week vacation with the kids because we were in the process of moving out and she called and left a message with a person at the house we were moving out of. The message wasn’t forwarded on, so she said she couldn’t find him and canceled his vacation. Her mother got the rest of the time.
1995: Spring-DENIED. There was no discussion about Spring break. She never brought it up. He got depressed due to the before during and after visitation hassles he dealt with. She did send a snotty letter to him after wards though. She wrote on 4-16-95 “Today is Easter and I guess you forgot Nick and Lisa again. Spring break came and went you didn’t try to see them. I guess taking care of another man’s child is more important as usual to you…” Summer- 3 weeks. She dropped the kids off at our home, after her vacation, on her way back home to WA. In 5 days, she called our home 16 times, my father in laws home, 3 times, Keith’s work 1 time, and the sheriff’s dept.2 times. She accused Keith of violating court orders, that he had taken the kids out of the county of San Diego without her permission and was holding them against their will. Two sheriff’s units rolled up on scene. If Keith did not have proof of the visitation agreement that SHE was going to drop them off, he would have been taken to jail for KIDNAPPING and whatever else charge they could trump up.Winter-DENIED- he offered to pay for transportation, and she said no,She said I was the reason she was taking Keith back to court. She told her attorney that she was having out of town company coming. She would not enter into a parenting plant, she was not agreeable to his future visitation requests, claiming they were unreasonable, and she told him there was no discussing anything him until after court. ALL she wanted was more money.
1996: Spring: 1 week, Summer- DENIED-House we lived in was being sold so we had to move. Keith requested just a WEEK with the kids and she said no. Christmas-DENIED, Keith was having a hard time raising the money, he asked Juanita to buy the tickets and he would reimburse her. On 10/29, Juanita called asking Keith to consider paying 3 ways to split with her mother. Keith said if she can pay for his portion too, he would pay her back. She said she had to think about it. On 11/19, she told Keith she hadn’t decided yet if she would do that. he called her on 11/24 and she said NO. On 7/15/96 she wrote him and said, “whenever you’re read to buy tickets just let me know and we can make arrangements from there.” It never happened.
1997: on 2/7, Keith requested Spring 1 week, Summer 4 weeks, Winter 2 weeks. Juanita was agreeable. Like Summer of 1995, Christmas 1997 was fraught with issues. On Christmas day, Keith told the kids to call talk to his parents. Lisa told my daughter who was 4 at the time, to ask their grandpa where their presents were, and I told my daughter not to ask that. Grandpa wanted to talk to Lisa, and Lisa was not having it, jumping up and down saying “NO, No, NO.” Keith finally got her to talk to him, and when she was done he asked her what the problem was in talking to him, she said there was none. He asked why she was acting like that, she said because she didn’t want to talk to him. Lisa was so upset, locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out. She started to yell that she didn’t want to speak to Keith or myself or grandpa because she did not receive his presents yet. She was yelling at Keith about how he doesn’t care about them, that he never buys them anything and he just buys “stupid Sarah” everything and she did not want to talk to “stupid grandpa.” Lisa continued to say that when they are at home, Nick ALWAYS calls Sarah “stupid”. Nick started crying saying what Lisa was saying was not true that he only calls Sarah a brat because she can be at times but that he NEVER calls her stupid. Then Lisa called her mother. THAT lit the fuse. The rest is history, but everything calmed down after a bit. Keith ended up giving up 3 days of his vacation with the kids so that they can spend it with Juanita and her family in San Diego.
A couple things here. For 2 years, Juanita has been able to plant the seed in the kids heads that he doesn’t care about them. In her letter of April 1995, Juanita wrote that it was OBVIOUS to Nick and Lisa that a gift box we sent the kids came from me because it was MY writing addressing the box. She went on to say that it was also Easter and she guesses he forgot about Nick and Lisa again, that taking care of another man’s child was more important as usual to him. She continued saying that if he cared he would call at least once in awhile, and that maybe they would mean enough to him to call or maybe pay them for the good grades. She told him that some kind of acknowledgment would be nice, it he wasn’t busy with his new family. She brought up Summer Camp to him, giving him the prices and said,”If I don’t hear from you by May 1st, I’ll tell them you don’t care to help.” ALL that was in one letter to him. EVERY letter had some derogatory statements like this.
1998: Spring-1 week, Summer 5 weeks, Christmas-Juanita’s year per the NEW visitation schedule. Keith took Juanita back to Court to get visitation set. They were split transportation costs, airport to airport, 50/50.
1999: Spring-1 week but Juanita, unknowing to us at the time, jacked Keith around with the cost of airfare. He paid $246 while Juanita paid $130. Had Juanita been on the up and up, they should have split airfare of $376 total, 50/50 for $188 a piece. Summer-5 weeks but again, fraught with issues over airfare, found out Juanita said Keith’s half of airfare was $215 only to find out she was planning on paying $116. She called me, yelled at me, cussed me out, threatened to cancel reservations and then threatened me, saying she was going to be on my door step so I better be afraid and that she was going to continue to threaten me until every inch of my body and being was afraid. I should have called her work to report the threat, but I didn’t. I did call the local PD though and reported it. Christmas-2 weeks. airfare split 50/50.2000:Spring 1 week, Summer-Free-Juanita was “enticed and bagged out” at Spring Break and put the kids on a later flight at Spring break to get FREE tickets and agreed with Keith to use them towards Summer visitation, IF he agreed to change the flight arrival at Spring Break. He agreed. She originally reneged on the agreement, but Keith fought hard to get her to keep her word. Christmas- Juanita’s year.
2001: Spring-1 week, Summer-5 weeks- 7/21/01 to 8/5/01 Lisa left mad. Nick stayed the full 5 weeks, until 8/25/01, Christmas- DENIED. Kids vacationed in SD with their mother and returned to WA on 1/5/02.
2002: Spring- DENIED, Summer-DENIED- Juanita said she would keep the kids if she moved- she moved. Nick graduated too. Christmas- DENIED, even though it was Juanita’s year to have the kids, Keith hadnt seen them for Christmas in 3 years, and he hadn’t seen the kids since Summer of 2001.
2003: Spring- Juanita’s year, Summer DENIED- First agreed from 6/29 to 7/13, then that changed and agreed to 7/13 to 7/27. Ended up with nothing, Christmas- DENIED. Lisa spent 12/20 to 12/27 in SD then went back to WA.
2004: Spring, Summer, Christmas- ALL DENIED.
2005: Pertaining to Lisa only- Spring, Summer- DENIED. Lisa graduated this year.
Tell me again how she “ALWAYS ENCOURAGED visits and paid for them most of the time. “ I think this proves differently.